The good old days were, in many ways, terrible for us. Yet now we smile; those days are “those days!” We would share a sandwich and bring out a Tupperware of extra rice at our favorite fast food! And it was not even a monthly luxury. We stretched the peso by buying fruits and veggies in season. New clothes were a privilege on birthdays and school events.
You’ve probably seen it all through many times or have experienced it yourself. Families going through financial difficulties, major illness, disaster, death, and divorce/separation. Yet they bounce back, regain their footing, and live without bitterness or resentment. Resilient, they survive and even thrive.
Resilience is “the ability to withstand and rebound from disruptive life challenges” (Walsh, 2008). And after overcoming and moving forward, there is what psychologists call post traumatic growth. It is a “psychological benefit that we can experience as a result of going through and overcoming adversities, which then help us rise to a higher level of functioning” (Alina Baltazar).
Resilience has its limits. The more hostile the environment, the more frequent the tragedies, the seriousness of the trauma, and the younger age that it occurs, the harder it is to be resilient (Ann Masten, 2013).
All factors were present in my experience. Orphaned at five, my siblings and I were cushioned from the blows of school and books. And then four of us became Seventh-day Adventists because church was a happy place (and still is!). Friends, teachers, pastors, and mentors were supportive and reliable. Their involvement gave us good self-confidence.
"God has the power to make our tragedies opportunities for growth."
Research proves that supportive relationships and religious involvement were found to have the most significant impact on the resilience of individuals. After a traumatic experience, healing begins with the stability of a caring relationship. Our relationship with God is a big part of resilience. “Casting all your cares upon Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).
You and I know that even the most exemplary and faithful among our church members struggle with the result of sin. Illness, disasters, death, divorce, crime, war, and violence may happen within the family or community. Though following God’s commandments does decrease some of the world’s pain, the forces of evil will do everything to cause harm to His children.
That’s why we do Family Ministries, a ministry of grace. We care for and support families as they navigate through this life with all the best intentions and efforts to ease the brokenness of this world.
Virginia Baloyo, SSD Family Ministries Director